


A hawt mess

by Kaiotic_Exotic



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE, A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band), NCT (Band), Pentagon (Korea Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), Stray Kids (Band), Wanna One (Band), Weki Meki (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: College kids doing college things, F/F, F/M, Gen, Jealousy, M/M, Pure Crack, Texting, cursing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-08-10 00:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16459607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaiotic_Exotic/pseuds/Kaiotic_Exotic
Summary: College kids shouldn't have the freedom to make groupchats





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OngKong: Seongwoo  
> Qiqi: Yuqi  
> Beauty: Eunwoo  
> Dawnnie: Hyojong (Edawn)  
> Shrimp: Yoojung   
> Shrimp #2: Jinho
> 
> TaeTae: Taehyung   
> Chan#1: Bangchan  
> Chan#2: Yuchan

[The Firey HOeS]  
TaeTae: Guys I'm dging   
TaeTae: like send hepd   
TaeTae: um laufhing so hard   
  
Chan#1: Wtf-  
  
TaeTae: So I was with my friends at the libary rifht  
TaeTae: and one of tjem has thsk crush on this dude and he does "You have a nice dick I mean smile god I hate autocorrect"  
  
Chan#2: your spelling is atrocious   
  
TaeTae: shut up you can't even spell areoxuis   
  
Chan#2: first off   
Chan#2: I just did   
Chan#2: secondly how tf did you spell it Wong when it was right there   
  
TaeTae: W O N G   
TaeTae: IM DEJEB AGAsl   
TaeTae: I just got kicked out of the laidrf  
TaeTae: library*  
TaeTae: fuck I was suppose dto studee  
  
Chan#2: that's what you get   
  
Chan#1: what happened to your friend that compliemnred a dude's dick  
Chan#1: and tried to blame autocorrect in a verbal convo  
  
TaeTae: he booked it out of there running faster than Usama Bin Laden that Olympics dude   
  
Chan#2....   
Chan#2: You mean Usan Bolt-  
  
TaeTae: same thing   
  
Chan#1: No-  
Chan#1: how hard were you dropped on your head as a baby   
  
[Dance Krew]  
  
Ongkong: HELP ME   
OngKong: OMG   
Ongkong: I HAVE A SITAUTION  
Ongkong: Shituation  
Ongkong: Dicktuation  
  
Shrimp: Dude   
Shrimp: irs 5 in the fcuking mornjng   
Shrimp: go to slurp  
  
QiQi: S L U R P  
QiQi: You heard Junggie  
QiQi: go to slurp Onggie  
  
Shrimp: I'll kick your as Yuqi   
  
QiQi: like you could reach   
  
Ongkong: THANKS GUYS I'M NOT HAVING A XRIAI OR AYNTHING HEER  
  
QiQi: what is your issue so I can sleep  
  
Ongkong: so I was at the library with my friend cause like tests are dicks   
Ongkong: and this dude comes over to our table  
Ongkong: and I look up and all I see is dick outline like face to crotch almost cause he's hella close   
Ongkong: And  I look up and it's a dude with a pretty smile and I go kid you not  
Ongkong: you have a nice dick I mean smile god I hate autocorrect   
  
Dawnie: really?   
  
Shrimp #2: You auto corrected in real life damn you that thirsty for the dick  
  
Ongkong: FCKU OFF YOU FUCKING SHRIMP  
Ongkong: JUST CAUSE YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND FOREST MEAN ANYTHING HOE  
  
QiQi: F  
           O  
         R  
            E  
           S  
              T  
  
Shrimp #2: Don't call me a hoe  
Shrimp #2: I wasn't the one that almost died cause I saw the outline of a certain someone's dick in their pants   
  
Ongkong: LEAVE MY TYPIS ALONE YUQI  
Ongkong: AND SRFU JINSHIT  
  
QiQi: SRFU  
QiQi: Should   
         Rocks  
         Fuel  
         Uranium  
  
Shrimp: Go  
               The   
               Fuxk  
               To  
               Slep  
  
QiQi: don't you mean Slurp?  
  
Shrimp: fuck off Yuqi or I'll send a certain someone thirst ss  
  
QiQi: you wouldnt darw-  
  
Shrimp: try me bitch :)  
  
QiQi: that smile is scary-  
  
Shrimp: go to sleep   
  
Ongkong: so everyone is just going to ignore the fact that I said I liked someone's dick  
Ongkong: the fact that I've been scarred and can never show my face again   
Ongkong: great friends I have   
  
Shrimp #2: you act like we haven't seen the type of shit you have on your computer you freak   
  
Ongkong: I TOLD YOU THAT WAS FOR RESEARHC   
  
QiQi: yeah research on how to get your dick hard-  
  
Ongkong: I'm disowning all of you   
  
Dawnie: finally   
  
QiQi: party timeeeeeeeee  
  
Shrimp: I thought itd never happen I'm going to cry now   
  
Beauty: I've waited so long for this moment   
  
Ongkong: I hate you all omg  
  
Ongkong has left the conversation   



	2. Kill it with fire

[Dance Krew]

Shrimp#2: Guys   
Shrimp#2: Listen   
Shrimp#2: So I was with Yoo right  
  
Shrimp: Jinho stfu  
  
Beauty: So?  
  
Shrimp#2: and her phone rings so I look at the caller ID and it says 'mommy'  
  
Dawnnie: Yoojung's mom called?  
  
Shrimp#2: THATS EXACTLY WHAT I SAID   
Shrimp#2: I was like "lol you still call your mom mommy"  
  
Shrimp#2: AND THIS FUCKER ANSWERS THE CALL AND GOES   
Shrimp#2: Hi Chungha  
Shrimp#2: LOOKIN ME DEAD IN THE FUCKING EYED  
  
QiQi: omg-  
  
Shrimp: LISTEN  
Shrimp:Jingo I'm going to kick your short duxkin ass isrfg  
  
QiQi: so...   
QiQi: you fucking Chungha  
  
Shrimp:OMFG NO IT WAS A JOKE SNNSNEND  
Shrimp:She changed her name to that in my phone   
Shrimp:AS A JOKE   
Shrimp: and I never changed it back   
  
QiQi:ssooooooo   
QiQi: y'all fucking   
QiQi: that's cute and all but keep it out of our dorm   
  
Shrimp: oh please like I haven't caught you and Minghoe in our dorm before   
  
QiQi: OMFG SHUT UP WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING   
  
Shrimp: Ooo Minghao go faster   
Shrimp:Ooh yes Minghao right there!   
  
QiQi: I'll kick your ass Yoo watch Mr  
  
Shrimp: watch Mr what?  
  
Beauty: So Yuqi you and Minghao  
  
Shrimp#2: y'all fucking   
  
QiQi: OMFG NO WE ARE NOT FUCKING   
QiQi: I AM A GOOD CHRISTIAN GIRL WHO READS HER BIBLE WENDY NIGHT AND RECITES THE HOLY SCRIPTS TO KEEP THE DEMONS LIKE YOU SHITS OUT   
  
OngKong: says the same girl who's computer had to be taken to the tech lab for viruses   
OngKong: Probably from Porn  
  
QiQi: I DON'T WATCH PORN YOU HENTAI FREAK   
  
Ongkong: good church girls don't know what hentai is *sips Tae*   
Ongkong: tea fuck my thighs   
Ongkong: LIFE WHAT THE FUCK   
  
Beauty: damn Ong are you really that deprived  
Beauty: don't worry bby I'll get you some help   
Beauty: 8017292912  
  
Dawnnie: so I uh called that number   
Dawnnie: It's a fucking sex addict help line   
  
OngKong: IM NOT A SEX ACCIDENT THE UNIVERSE JUST HATES ME   
  
QiQi: nah I think you're a really big sex accident bub  
  
OngKong: Yuqi I will drown you in the poll next time I see you   
  
QiQi: drown me daddy~  
  
Shrimp: is that what you say to Minghao  
  
OngKong: "Christian"   
Ongkong; you're about as Christian as Christian Grey   
  
Shrimp#2: man could have me on my knees in two seconds   
  
Ongkong: that's nice to know   
Ongkong: moving on   
  
Beauty: hey Seong I think I know who's duck you complimented   
  
Shrimp: you went duck watching without me how rude  
Shrimp: you know how much I love dick  
Shrimp:dick  
Shrimp:DIck  
Shrimp: DUCKS OMFG IMA THRIW MAH PHOEN  
  
QiQi: YooYoo likes dick conformed   
  
OngKong: she likes them conformed dingle wingles  
  
Shrimp#2: delete yourself right now   
  
QiQi: dingle wingles-  
  
Beauty: You didnt-  
  
Dawnnie: Dingle wingle, dingle wingle, dingle wingle and Seongwoo still cant get none~  
  
OngKong: I HAVE A VERY ACTIVE SEX LIFE LEAVE ME THE DUCK ALONE YOU PEASANT SHERPAS   
  
Shrimp#2: your hand doesn't count as a sex partner babe  
  
OngKong: My HAND ISN'T MY SEX PARENTS IRS A PERSON WITH A DICK THAT'S FULLY DHXKERONING  
  
Shrimp#2: I think we broke him  
  
Shrimp:maybe it was the fully dhxeroning dick  
  
OngKong: go jump off a cliff   
  
Shrimp: after you OopAr   
Shrimp: OppAr jump off the cliff for me first juseyo hhnng hnnng   
  
Beauty: Yoojung I love you but do that again and I will throttle you   
  
Shrimp: but oppar I sarang you nomu nomu juseyo sarang me back juseyo   
Shrimp: Yoojung sarang oppArs and Noonars hnnng hnnng booiing booiing   
  
QiQi: burn it with fire   
  
**Shrimp has been kicked out of the chat**   
  
OngKong: my eyes can finally survive

 


	3. Halloeve

[The Firey HoEs]  
  
Chan#1: Jeongin is crying what do I do?  
  
Chan#2: what happened?  
  
Chan#1: I took him trick or treating but no one answered the door so he didn't get any candy  
  
Chan#2:...   
Chan#2: Chan you insufferable fyuck  
  
Chan#1: the host a lift   
Chan#1: host a lift   
Chan#1: HOST A KITTY   
Chan#1:Hostalkity   
  
Chan#2: Hostility you dumb fuck   
Chan#2: did you and Tae get dropped on your heads together or somethin cause you're equally stupid   
  
Chan#1: LISTEN   
Chan#1: I have a crying child with me and you're attacjing me   
  
Chan#2: what's the date you dumb fcuk   
  
Chan#1: October 30th  
Chan#1: og-  
  
Chan#2: Halloween isn't until tomorrow til Big lump of fuvk  
  
TaeTae: You've spelled fuck 4 times now   
TaeTae: and spelled it different each time   
TaeTae: teach me your ways pupil   
  
Chan#2: drown in a cock  
Chan#2: sock-   
  
TaeTae: 1 how do I drown in a sock   
TaeTae: 2 don't get mad at me cause your not boyfriend is flirting with Donghun  
  
Chan#2: SHUT UP I DON'T LIKE JUNHEE LIKE THAT   
  
Chan#1: sure you dont   
Chan#1: you love him Kik that   
  
Chan#2: I will eat everything you love   
  
Chan#1: I don't think Woojin is into vore   
Chan#1: waif fuck  
  
TaeTae: OMG   
  
Chan#2: I FUCKING CALLED THAT SHIT  
Chan#2: CHAN AND WOOJIN SITTING IN A TREE   
  
TaeTae: F-U-C-K-I-N-G  
  
Chan#1:no  
Chan#1: Woojin is pure unlike hour yoe ass  
  
TaeTae: I'm not a hoe  
TaeTae: I just like what I like and I like that Dicc  
  
Chan#2: delete yourself   
  
TaeTae: I will  
TaeTae: right after sending some soft AF Yuchan moments to Junhee~  
  
Chan#2: do it I fucking dare you   
  
TaeTae: Dome :)  
  
Chan#2: I WAS JOKING ISTFG TAEHYUNG I WILL'S TANGLE YOU   
  
TaeTae: illeterae   
  
Chan#2: you can't even spell illiterate you dumb fuck  
  
TaeTae: Junhee wouldn't like this hostility   
TaeTae: omg Junhee's reaction is funny   
  
Chan#2: what did he say   
  
TaeTae: ask him yourself   
  
[Private chat; Junhee and Yuchan]  
  
Yuchan: hyung  
Yuchan: whatever Taehyung sent you ignore it, it was a joke   
  
Junhee: Taehyung who?  
Junhee: why would he send me anything I don't even know who that is  
Junhee: and what was a joke  
  
Yuchan:...   
Yuchan: did you get any mysterious messages possibly screenshots from someone just now  
  
Junhee: nope the only other person texting me is you and Hunnie   
  
Yuchan: okay   
Yuchan: ignore what I said hyung   
  
Junhee: okay Channie~  
  
Yuchan: TAEHYUNG YOU LITTLE SHIT YOU DIDN'T SEND THE SCREENSHOTS OF ME ADMITTING TO LIKING HIM TO JUNHEE   
  
Junhee: Channie....   
Junhee: you're in the wrong chat-  
  
Yuchan: NO NO No  
Yuchan: HYUNG PLEASE IGNORE THAT PLEASE PLEASE IGNORE IT I'M SORRY   
  
Yuchan has left the chat   
  
[The fiery HoeS]  
  
Chan#2: Fuck you Taehyung   
Chan#2: fuck you Junhee for sending a message and confusing me with the chats   
Chan#2: how do I delete myself   
Chan#2: but first I mist end Taehyung where are you   
  
Chan#1: he's by the canteen   
  
Chan#2: thanks dumb fuck   
  
[Dance Krew]  
  
QiQi: so I was at the canteen with Minghao getting food and this kid comes in and fucking jumps on one of Ong's friends and starts beating him   
QiQi: with a banana   
QiQi: I was going to record it but Hao stopped me   
  
OngKong: Which friend?  
  
QiQi: the stupid one with the face   
  
OngKong: you're no help all my friends have faces   
  
QiQi: the own with the square smile   
  
OngKong: ahh Taehyung I wonder what be did this time   
  
Shrimp: a banana   
Shrimp: hes getting beat with a Abadan   
Shrimp: a banana   
  
Shrimp: he's beating him with his banana   
  
Beauty: BDSM in the canteen   
  
Shrimp#2: sounds like a porn title   
  
Beauty: you'd know all about porn titles   
  
Shrimp#2: FUCK YOU AND YOUR PRETTY FACE   
  
Beauty: :3   
  
Shrimp: that reminds me   
Shrimp: some bitch came up to me today and started yelling about how I shouldn't lie about how I should stop hanging out with her boyfriend   
Shrimp: and I'm like birch I'm gay   
  
QiQi: birch   
  
Shrimp: secondly I dont know your bf   
Shrimp: but long story short   
Shrimp: Eunwoo you have a gf   
  
Beauty: no I don't   
  
Shrimp: according to her you've been dating for 3 months   
  
Beauty: I'm fat   
Beauty: gay- no Tf  
  
Shrimp#2: I was about to fight you for calling yourself fat  
  
Beauty: I don't have a gf Yoo

Shrimp: well someone is spreading that you do so I'd get that checked fast vfor for the. Whole school tanks you do   
  
Beauty: what the duck am I supposed to do? Ask everyone in school if I'm dating thwm  
  
Shrimp: if I see her again I'll tell ya  
Shrimp: and I'll fight her too


	4. Dramarama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MoonKitty: Moonbin  
> Dancingking: Rocky  
> MichealJackson: MJ  
> SanSan: Sanha   
> Mariolover: Jin  
> Goldenbunny: Jingkook  
> Suga: Yoongi  
> Taelien: Tae

[Group of NeRdS]

 

MoonKitty: Guys has anyone seen Eunwoo hyung?

 

DancingKing: No

DancingKing: Why

 

MoonKitty: I just talked to someone in his theatre class and they said he dropped out of the musical

MoonKitty: I'm worried 

 

JinJin: HE DID WHAT 

JinJin: HE LITERALLY PESTERED ME FOR WEEKS TO HELP HIM PRACTICE AND HE DROPPED OUT 

 

MoonKitty; I know

MoonKitty: But I think something's wrong 

 

MichaelJackson: I know some people in his class, I can see if any of them know anything 

 

[MJ has added Hyunjin, Seungkwan, Jeonghan, and Yoojung to a private chat]

 

MJ: Do any of you know why Eunwoo dropped out of the musical?

 

Jeonghan: Eunwoo dropped out?

 

Seungkwan: It was probably because of the rumors 

 

MJ: Rumors?

MJ: What rumors?

 

Jeonghan: Ahh

Jeonghan: you're probably right 

 

Yoojung: Some dicks got upset that Eunwoo beat the lead and started saying that he couldn't sing or act 

Yoojung: then a rumor was started that the only reason that he got the part is because he slept with the teacher 

 

Hyunjin: He was pretty messed up about it 

Hyunjin: Stopped showing up to class and everything 

 

MJ: Shit 

MJ: thank you 

 

[Group of NeRdS]

MichaelJackson: I found out what happened 

MichaelJackson: we are all idiots 

 

MoonKitty: What happened?

 

SanSan: What's wrong with hyung?

 

MichaelJackson: Apparently some assholes in his class started a rumor that he couldn't sing or act 

 

DancingKing: Names 

DancingKing: Addresses 

DancingKing: Dorm 

DancingKing: Time to kick some ass

 

MichaelJackson: We need to find Woo first 

MichaelJackson: Ask around 

 

[Bangtan Boiis]

 

GoldenBunny: I need help 

GoldenBunny: Like what do I do 

 

MarioLover: What's wrong?

MarioLover: Are you hurt?

 

GoldenBunny: No 

GoldenBunny: But one of Binnie's friends is crying and idk what to do

 

Taelien: who is it?

 

GoldenBunny: Eunwoo I think

 

Suga: Where

 

GoldenBunny: Near the canteen 

 

Suga: im on my way 

 

 

[Group of NeRdS]

 

MoonKitty: j found him 

MoonKitty: well my boyfriend did 

MoonKitty: or his friend and he's out for blood 

 

JinJin: is it Yoongi hyung? 

 

MoonKitty: yep how'd ya know 

 

JinJin: he used to babysit Woo

JinJin: he's hella overprotective of him 

 

MoonKitty: ahh 

 

Dancingking: I'm going to fight everyone who talked shit about him

 

[Private Chat

  Yoojung - Rocky]

 

Rocky: I need names of people who started rumors 

 

Yoojung: oof give me a second 

 

[Dance Krew]

 

Shrimp: does anyone remember who started those rumors about Eunwoo?

 

QiQi: Jinyoung 

QiQi: Park and his shitty crew 

 

Shrimp: thanks bby :>

 

QiQi: disgusting 

 

Shrimp: you wouldn't treat Minghao like this 

 

QiQi: don't bring him into this you little hoe 

 

Shrimp: I AM A VERY LOYAL HOE 

Shrimp: I only fuck with Chungha 

 

Shrimp #2: so you fucking now 

 

Shrimp: shi-

Shriml: ajsbsbbsndnd

 

[Private Chat

  Yoojung - Rocky]

 

Yoojung: Park Jinyoung 

Yoojung: and the band of assholes that follow him 

 

Rocky: thanks Yoo I owe you 

 

Yoojung: if you get caught doing anything stupid I was not the one to tell you anything


End file.
